people problems

There are three types of people at Lone Peak High School (or the world)

Type 1: people who like what is popular
Type 2: people who like what they like because they like it
Type 3: people who refuse to like things because everyone else likes those things too

So before I go any further I'm just going to throw something out there.
I think my favorite singer may or may not be Rihanna today.

For today I am listening to all of Rihanna's songs and I don't even care.
I'm replaying Take A Bow and Hate That I Love You and Stay.

Today I'm going to be Type 2.
I don't even care today.

But most days I try too hard to be a Type 3 and then just end up being a Type 1 because the groups of Type 1 and 3 are almost the same... although they would never admit it.

Did you follow that?
Sorry.
Sorry for all those 'Type 1' and 'Type 2' references.

Sometimes words get in the way of what I'm trying to say.

Some things people will never understand about me.

Like what I day dream about in my study hall class instead of doing my statistics homework.

Like what I think about those moments of half consciousness right before I fall asleep.

Even though people say they get it, they never will fully understand what I was trying to say when my words came out tangled.

The scary thing is words are really all I have. Words are the total sum of all that I  think and want and dream and feel. I write or whisper or blabber or blog or talk or type. And then I hope what I say has a relationship more with just than air or paper or a screen.

So I'm just going to listen to a little more Rihanna,
and be a little more Type 2,
and loll around in my thoughts for a few more hours,
until I'm tired enough to do my homework and return to real people and real life.