can we just talk about now...always?

"I'm feeling that everything is moving and changing and growing. I'm feeling the ending."

(air)

"These things and people seem so important now, everyone keeps telling me, they won't matter soon, soon I will forget all about everything here and make better friends and do better things, they tell me that everything up to till this point in my life has been insignificant, people tell me that but if none of it matters after- why was I not just born at 19?"

And then you finally said something. "19 is too old to start at."

"But no. They say 19 is young, that real life is just beginning, that I've got my whole life ahead of me...but what about the 18 years I've got behind me? Why do I give other people permission to cast-away my youth and experiences, why do people feel like they can insult everything I've ever felt or done with light words like little and early? My life is young, but it's a collection of depth and intimacy--not just immaturity. I wish I could yell that at them."

"Youth is charm. When they are confused at your confidence with the future, look at them with those crazy eyes and yell at them all you want. People sometimes, just don't get people."

future suns

I really wish you were here to tickle my arm in church.
Every time you remember me, we talk.
And when we talk our eyes fight.
You are all easy-going and I'm goal-oreinted, so please only remember the lovely things I said to you.

When we go our separate ways I hope my face will surface in the clouds on sunny days--not in a Teletubbies way...but like a Mufasa way (with a little less drama and a little more cuteness).

stop it therapy

My heart is a hallway and without permission, you stand there--you're wearing neon and you have a packet of pink slips and punishments to slide to me when I think about you too much.
My Circadian Rhythm is all out-of-wack because you tell me when to wake and when to sleep and you choose if I'm happy or not.
My crush on you only crushes my all-too-eager soul.


So for the good of both you and me:

please stop

(everything you do)

(it's just so pretty)

blah blah blah blackout

------------------------------------------
Find me on the first chest-nut tree.
Just off the grinning late evening, lingering over the night sky.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The real revelation isn't in the stars, but on the power tucked under its skin.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's been a growing demand for the famous and memories.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Though I've known for many years, I'll confess I was underwhelmed; I anticipated my surprise to notice the one-star friends.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

forgetful follies

things I forgot to bring on my vacation:

-my allergy medication (I have severe allergies to my sisters in cramped backseats)
-my knee pads for roller blading
-my hot tub flirting skills
-my face that pretends that I like family history
-my favorite navy blue pen that doesn't seep through paper
-my conditioner that doesn't smell like herb tea
-my extra 6 fingers for all the buttons I wanted to push on the elevator
-my cool water bottle that I could use when I was pretending to tan by the pool
-my car charger
-my pretty feet
-my cat
-you

lamp shades and side tables

garage-sale blues