how to not

1.  never learn how to blow bubbles with your gum--no one cares anyways.
2.  yodel every other Monday
3.  drink water upside when you have hiccups, maybe ask your dad to demonstrate
4.  pretend to whistle when everyone's favorite song has that one whistling chorus comes on
5.  if you really want to not, call yourself a leprechaun and eat some freaking cabbage

you're welcome